Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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