I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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