Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
I'm like, not good at living.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize
