on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
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