This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
