oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I need a beard to bite.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Randomize
