We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
