i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Randomize
