Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
