she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
you're hired as official boob wrangler
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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