so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
