shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
