your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
