i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
