It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
did you just send me my own nude
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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