She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Cover your peen. We're going out.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Randomize
