Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Life is so much better after having sex.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Randomize
