I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize