after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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