would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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