Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
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