So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
