walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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