Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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