before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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