im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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