You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
