At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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