Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
