Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
