I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
