It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Randomize
