I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Randomize
