dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
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