oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Boobs are out for the taking
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
