Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
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