I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Randomize
