strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Randomize
