i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
