I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
God, I missed his penis.
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