billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
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