I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Randomize
