dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize