i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize
