i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I think I am morally bankrupt
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
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