I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
