So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize
