I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
