I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Randomize
