Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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