apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
