Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
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