What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize
