After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
