i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize