I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Randomize
