I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
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