Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
