next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I need to calm my uterus...
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
