why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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