rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
