He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Randomize
