Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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