I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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