I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
