where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
