just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
worst night to have a conscience
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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