i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
