mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
