What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
