I can text with my tongue
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize