hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
