i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Randomize
