Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
