i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I lost the right to judge tonight
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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